Affairs are excruciatingly painful and are the most difficult experience for a couple to master. There are three ways couples deal with an affair:
Some couples end the relationship.
Other couples ‘forgive to quickly’ with good intentions but might be at risk to avoid important issues.
Other couples try to understand how the affair came about which involves three very important components:
1) The person who had the affair needs to show sincere remorse and needs to understand and own the internal issues that put him or her at risk for this transgression of boundaries.
2) The couple needs to look at how their relationship dynamic possibly contributed for this to have happened.
3)The betrayed partner needs to be open to participate in repairing the relationship. The betrayed partner deserves a lot of time and space to express the hurt and anger the experience has caused, yet needs to reach a point to the desire a new relationship going forward.
Getting past an affair is possible. I deeply respect and commend the couples that have done so. Couples therapy can explore a way out of the pain into a new meaningful relationship.